self reflections at 4 am

it’s one of those nights.

i slept for 2 or 3 hours, and now i’m wide awake.

a mind full of songs, and a quiet love for sitting down to create something.

it’s funny how i can hardly keep up any routine.

i’ve always liked working, then sleeping.

then working again. then sleeping again.

sometimes going days losing any sense of time, never sleeping more than 2,3 hours at a time while still sleeping a lot.

i was never someone who wakes up at the same time every day.

who has a morning routine.

who can sit down and work til the clock runs out, and then go live my lives.

i can’t do it like that.

the closest i ever came to a routine

was coffee and a cigarette in the morning,

listening to the music i made the night before.

but i’ve come to accept it.

maybe it’ll change.

who knows.

it doesn’t matter.

for now, it’s another 4 a.m. session.

another mid-day nap.

another movie at sunrise.

as long as the songs come, i don’t mind.

as long as, by the end of the day, i feel like i was present,

i don’t mind.